Help me be a better mother.

Last night I went with my friend Chelsey (love her) to an MBA sponsored parenting night thing.  Darren read me the flyer late Sunday night and I'm always drawn to seminar/classes/forums on parenting because I know it can only help me be a better mother.  

Sometimes I find myself having a hard time falling asleep at night because I think and worry how I'm going to raise a righteous, well balanced boy- especially in this wicked wicked world.  I know the answers are found in the Gospel.  

I feel very strongly that Darren and I's biggest calling and responsibility (EVER) is being parents.  Its a huge task! I don't claim for one second to be doing it perfect, right, or even good for that matter, but I do try.  That counts for something these days.  I want to be a good mother.  I want my kids to trust me.  I want them to talk to me and tell me what's going on in their world.  I want my children to do what's right when we're not there.  I want them to love the gospel.  I want them to love their family, our family.  I want them to find joy and beauty in their lives.

My list keeps going.

Fortunately, I felt like I got some good practical advice last night from Lilli Anderson.  I mean just her academic credentials alone makes her legit, but she is also a mother of 8.  She knows a thing or two about parenting. There were a couple things she brought up last night that really hit home to me.  I don't want to forget them:

• If it doesn't matter to God, then it shouldn't matter to you (as a parent).  This statement is pretty profound, and I'm still thinking this one over.  I know I'm going to have to remind myself of this over and over and over again.  
• Anger will never teach.  Anger translates to hatred for children.  I may be "trying to teach" with anger but all they will hear is "mama hates me."  Learn to take the anger out of the situation.  
• Really listen to your kids.  Luke isn't talking yet, but I know its only a matter of time before he is ready to share his whole entire world with me, and I need to take the time to listen right from the get go.  This could be difficult if any of my kids are like me because I will get every teeny tiny detail of what happened at school that day.  I'm going to have to work on the patience for that.

These are kind of "silly" but very practical in daily situations:

Lilli had a rule of if you can't be nice to your siblings, then you can't have friends over/ or go to their house. It's easy to be nice to friends, but it requires work and respect to get along with your siblings (those we love most).

If something isn't working, fix it.  Get creative with your consequences.  She had a kid with a biting problem.  She tried lots of solutions and finally after biting a sibling she told her son "if you bite one more time I'm going to bite you".  It was but a couple minutes later there was another biting incident.  She firmly asked the boy to come to her and she bit him (not too hard- but enough) and he didn't like it and burst into tears.  The boy never bit again.  She followed through with her threats.  She never made threats she knew she couldn't keep.

She firmly encouraged her children to find answers to problems in the scriptures.  She said her children were "very familiar with the Topical Guide: Contention."  :)

All I know is I often feel inadequate to be a mother to such sweet innocent spirit(s), but I know I have tools, support system, and a plan  to help guide the way.  Thank heavens for that!